If She Were Here: Just Between Mom & Me Journal Prompt 3

This prompt made me smile before I even picked up my pen.

When I think of the list of things that bring me joy today — really sit with it — I can trace them back to a moment, a memory, a season of life that shaped me without me realizing it at the time.

Baking — Where It All Began

Mom taught me how to bake when I was young. The kitchen was where she showed love in a language that felt natural to her.

I never let go of it. In 2020, during the lockdown, I started taking cake and cookie orders through Instagram. It was a way to make money when the world stopped — but it was also just an excuse to do what I've always loved. Mom was my biggest fan. She would tell people. She was proud.

One of our last conversations was her calling me for a recipe.

Raspberry dark chocolate chip banana bread.

I'm sharing the recipe at the end of this post. Make it on a slow morning. Think of someone you love while you do.

Today I manage a restaurant and bakery in Honolulu. The little girl who learned to bake in momma's kitchen is now responsible for feeding a community. I don't think either of us saw that coming.

Plants — 80 and Counting

When mom passed in December 2020, I had just started getting into plants. It was a brand new hobby, barely getting started.

I now have around 80 plants in my home.

There is something about tending to living things — watching them root, watching them reach — that has held me together in the years since she left. I got good enough at it that I started a side business caring for other people's houseplants. I would go into their homes and care for their plants while they were away or just too busy to keep up.

It became its own quiet joy. I didn't see that coming either.

Dasher — And Sebastian the Grand-Fish

I always wanted a dog. Before I had one, a friend gave me a fish. Just a fish in a bowl. His name was Sebastian and mom claimed him immediately — called him her grand-fish and asked about him like he was family. Because to us, he was.

I believe mom had something to do with the day I walked into the Humane Society and found Dasher. I can't explain it beyond that. I just know the feeling of that day felt like more than coincidence.

He brings me a specific kind of comfort I didn't know I was missing.

Ice Skating — She Skated Backwards So I Could Move Forward

Mom taught me to ice skate when I was little. She would chaperone our school trips to Ice Palace and skate backwards in front of me — facing me, watching me, guiding me — while I figured out my footing.

I have carried that image with me for years.

In February of this year, at 31 years old, I bought my own ice skates for the first time.

I laced them up and thought of her immediately. I think I always will.

Cooking — From Something I Had To Do, To Something I Choose

Growing up, cooking was survival. It was something that had to happen. Baking always felt different — more creative, more mine — but cooking felt like obligation.

That changed in my adulthood. In my marriage. In my own kitchen.

Now I genuinely love it. I watch cooking shows. I try new recipes. I host my friends whenever I can and I pour real care into what I put on the table. Mom cooked comfort food — nothing complicated, nothing fancy, just the kind of meals that meant someone was home. I learned from that foundation and built on it in my own way.

Cooking went from something I had to do to something I choose. That shift means more to me than I can fully explain.

Singing — Finding My Voice

I have always loved to sing. I performed growing up. It was always mine.

But I didn't always feel encouraged. Not the way I needed. I grew up wishing someone had pulled me aside and said — your voice is something. Don't stop.

I found that encouragement eventually. I found it in myself.

I sing every Sunday now in the praise band at my church. I do solos. I stand in front of people and I open my mouth and I mean every word. My confidence didn't come from someone handing it to me — I built it myself, note by note, Sunday by Sunday.

Mom loved when I sang. I know she still does.

Writing — The Hobby I've Always Kept Private

I have always loved writing. I have kept a journal for as long as I can remember — there is almost always one nearby. Writing has never been something I had to make time for. It's something I've always done.

What I rarely do is share it.

This blog is me finally doing that. Every post is a conversation I'm learning to have out loud. And if it resonates with even one person who needed to read it, every word was worth writing.

The Recipe She Called Me For

One of the last times mom called me, she asked for this recipe. I'm sharing it here the way I would have written it in the journal — passed from my hands to yours, the way good things should travel.

Make it with someone you love. Or make it alone and think of someone you miss. Either way, it counts.

Raspberry Banana Bread with Dark Chocolate Chips Makes 1 standard loaf — about 8 to 10 slices

Oven: 350°F Pan: 9x5-inch loaf pan, greased and lined with parchment if you have it

Wet ingredients 3 very ripe bananas mashed (about 1¼ to 1½ cups), ½ cup unsalted butter melted and slightly cooled, ¾ cup brown sugar packed, 2 large eggs, ¼ cup plain Greek yogurt or sour cream, 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Dry ingredients 1¾ cups all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, ½ teaspoon baking powder, ½ teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional but good)

Mix-ins 1 cup raspberries fresh or frozen, ¾ cup dark chocolate chips, 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour for coating

Optional topping 1–2 tablespoons dark chocolate chips, a few extra raspberries, 1 tablespoon coarse sugar or brown sugar

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 350°F and prepare your loaf pan. Mash your bananas in a large bowl until mostly smooth — a few lumps are perfectly fine. Whisk in the melted butter, brown sugar, eggs, Greek yogurt, and vanilla until smooth and glossy. In a separate bowl whisk together all your dry ingredients. Fold the dry mixture into the banana mixture gently, stopping as soon as you no longer see dry streaks. Do not overmix. Toss your raspberries and chocolate chips with the tablespoon of flour — this keeps them from sinking and helps absorb the raspberry moisture. Fold them carefully into the batter without crushing the berries. Pour into your prepared pan, smooth the top, and add your optional toppings. Bake for 60 to 75 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean or with just a few moist crumbs. If the top is browning too quickly, tent loosely with foil around the 45 to 50 minute mark. Cool in the pan for 20 minutes then transfer to a rack for at least 30 more before slicing.

Use very ripe bananas — the browner the better. If using frozen raspberries, add them straight from the freezer so they don't bleed into the batter.

This recipe was the last one she asked me for. I think about that every time I make it. Some recipes are just recipes. This one is a conversation that never really ended.

Just Between Mom & Me is a guided pass-back-and-forth journal for mothers and their children — for the conversations that are hard to start out loud.

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